My mother lives in a town of family names and sidewalkless streets.

I’ve aligned myself too close to the stars, I’ve tripped over too many lucky pennies, I’ve been just too karmically just—

Like a Roman soldier pre-battle gay orgy, I want to get FUCKED UP. So, I signed up for a Tracy Anderson class. 

You lie about being an NYU student? That’s embarrassing.

Unless…no–wait…the darkness…it’s creeping in….My bed is calling out for me. The hazy depression of a mid-afternoon nap, luring me in…Aritiza’s Afterpay option begging me for use

What if Louis C.K. or Bill Maher could actually be eradicated from the culture?

Last month, Representative George Santos was told by the U.S. House to sashay away.

I don’t want to see your Nan on Instagram.

My year was better than yourssss.

The program for “Jet, Live!” because Staples is expensive!!

Come see “Jet, Live!” At Under St. Marks Theatre December 13th at 7:00 pm!!!!!!!!1!

I wish I was an NYU student with an eclectic fashion sense and Daddy’s AMEX to spend at Vegan-Eco-Friendly-Atelier-Baggu-Verified-Seller-Thrift-Stores. 

It’s about to get adorably cringe up in this bitch.

Since when did femininity become a trend?

Uh oh, I’m getting sentimental about living in New York. 

Above is our searing, intense, and at times, uncomfortable, conversation revolving around love, sex, fear, and the geo-political ramifications of college-aged mistakes.

But yes, she is thrilled to be blue-ass-butt-naked in X-MEN VII Death of Phoenix, Arizona, or whatever this movie is called.

Please write the following on my tomb stone: Me and Jewish Grandmas!

An exploration of a funeral weekend, in the style of The New York Times “36 Hours in…”

Kermit the Frog is the Anti-Wife Guy